I was awakened at 2:00 a.m. by a house guest shaking me frantically asking me where my 14-year-old daughter was. Oblivious to what was going on I said: “In her bed sleeping”. As I followed them out of my room confused, they told me they found an empty bottle and suicide note on the kitchen counter and didn’t see her in her bed. It felt like forever before I reached her room. I saw her balled up under her blanket; I paused in fear, what was seconds felt like minutes…hours. So many thoughts raced through my mind, but I had to do it…I shook her forcibly and called her name all while praying that she would answer. Yes, mommy, she replied softly…
My name is Lela Blackwell, Founder & President of I Am My Sister and mother of a now amazing 17-year-old young lady name Sydney who has been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Anxiety Disorder. What you read is just a snippet of the beginning of my journey as a mother of an adolescent battling mental health issues. I know I am not alone, and for many mothers, their story didn’t end with a response back.
For almost a year Sydney struggled with talking about her time in the hospital; four times in eight months. Whenever anyone would bring up the topic, she would get defensive, and her response would immediately be “that’s in the past, why do we have to talk about it”. At 5:30 am one Saturday, the topic came up again while she was discussing her therapy session from the previous day, and of course, she got defensive. I finally had to explain to her that nothing we go through is for ourselves. We’re put through trials and tests because God knows that we can handle them. As we make it through our trials and test, He hopes that we will share our testimony to help someone else get through theirs. In short, it’s not about us. No, it’s not fair, but how special that God chose you, that he trusted you, that he needed you…us. I always told her that I wouldn’t share her story because it’s not my story to tell, but hers when she’s ready. At that moment, I realized that wasn’t completely true, and I couldn’t hold to my word any longer on the topic because I too went through this journey and I too had a story to tell…my story. That it wasn’t about me, but other parents that needed to know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and to grab hold of a little bit of hope.
WELCOME! This is our first blog post for “Mind Your Mental Moment”. When I re-launched i Am My Sister I knew that we had to include a mental health initiative. The initiative is called “Mind Your Mental” and it gives high school and college young ladies a safe space to tell their stories, live in their truth, and receive access to resources, and support from their fellow sisters as they navigate through their mental health journey. It allows young ladies to focus on being the best versions of themselves by focusing on themselves.
The goal of this blog is to bring awareness, start and continue the conversation, break the stigma, and more importantly, give young ladies a voice. On this blog, you will read and sometimes watch and listen as young people, therapist, and the community shares their stories, our thoughts, and feelings about topics related to mental wellness, learn about tools and resources for those affected by mental health (which is everyone), and our journey and commitment to end the stigma.
